Dances with Wolves

I'm listening to the sound track to the film Dances with Wolves at the moment and thinking about Lt. John J. Dunbar, the lead character played by Kevin Costner. Dunbar is extraordinary for a number of reasons, not the least of which is his ability to get in touch with his feeling side. Let me tell you what I mean.

Early in the story, when he's arrived at Ft. Sedgewick, he sees a lone wolf and raises his rifle to shoot. Something within him resists, he lowers his weapon, and not soon after, names the wolf Two Socks. In mythic tales, it is the right of the King to name and thereby confer existence in the eyes of the King. By naming the wolf, Dunbar attributes to him personal significance and meaning. If I use an endearment while addressing a woman in a dream, even if I'm too nervous to use that name when awake and in person, it still reveals a great deal about how I feel.

As the story unfolds, Dunbar becomes increasingly drawn to the life of the Lakota Sioux who are camped nearby. Their friendliness, easy humor, and appreciation for the natural world draws him powerfully. He sees in them a way of living that is more genuine than what he has previously known and he not only comes to embrace it, he fights to defend it.

This is what I mean by feeling. It's not emotion, though it may be emotional. It's more the capacity to engage intentionally and with responsibility. Sometimes we engage inappropriately for reasons we come to regret. We don't really see it at the time but given enough time it becomes clear we've made a mistake. What motivates us to recognize it and find the courage to change is feeling. We come to realize our truest inner values lie elsewhere, maybe in another career, another place, another person.

Feeling-based decisions don't always seem rational, but they are. Dunbar knew full well what he was doing. It wasn't a whim or mid-life crisis; Dunbar was a man of soul living in a soul-less world and when he found his place, he chose it. Decisions like this aren't always appreciated by others. Friends or family may say, "That's not reasonable, it makes no sense, don't you realize what you're giving up," and this creates considerable pressure. I didn't say it would be easy.

It's been a long time since I've visited Dances with Wolves and I really don't know what brought it to mind this morning, I honestly don't. The unconscious has its own ways of speaking and apparently, it wants me to listen. If I've learned anything at all, its that I ignore its voice at my own risk. Not that anything bad is going to happen necessarily, but more like "it's my own damn fault" if things go awry. So, I think I should do some listening today.