Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Random Morning Thoughts

I have a friend who is adept at writing random thoughts on her blog, The Blog of an Everyday Tourist, and it's a technique I've never employed. But this morning a couple of things are on my mind and so, here goes. The first is about a concert I saw late last night on PBS. Jacob Dylan and the Gold Mountain Rebels at the Desmond Tutu Center in New York. The youngest son of the Dylan, this guy has got talent. I'm not sure I can characterize his music: folk, alternative rock, and sometimes plain old rock and roll. Now and then there's the echo of his father's offbeat approach to rhyme, but he's taken his upbringing in his own direction.

Listening to this younger Dylan, his voice is like a confluence of Bruce Springsteen and himself, with his father's highlights thrown in for good measure. The mix of his own acoustic guitar with electric lead, bass, and drums as backup creates a sound that is appealing and engaging. After the first few measures I was intrigued, drawn in, and now here I am, writing about it. On August 15, he's in Freeport, Maine for an L.L. Bean summer concert and I hope I'm not on-call at the hospital because I'd like to attend. His website is and you can listen for yourself. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

The second thing that's on my mind this morning came to me while pouring a second cup of coffee. It's unmistakable how couples resemble one another the longer they are together. You're at a party and meet a husband and wife who've been married 50 years. They not only look like one another, they behave like one another: they use similar metaphors and verbal twists. Maybe it comes from being together day in and day out, but their individuality is altered over time and begins to reflect the character of the partnership.

So, here's my question: how many people actually think about their potential life partners and say to themselves, "In fifty (or however many) years, I want to look like them?" I'm not sure I've ever seen a question like this in all the how-to-find-and-love-your-one-and-only books. I think I can say with confidence I've never heard a marital therapist suggest it as criteria for a successful relationship. As a matter of fact, I've never even thought about it myself quite like this.

For all the infinite reasons we hook up, pair up, link up, fall in love, maybe become engaged and marry, it occurs to me that it might be a good idea to take a long look at this someone and ask ourselves, what is it about them that makes me want to look and act like them when I'm old and grey. Because it's going to happen. Barring unforeseen circumstances, someday people are going to notice that we resemble our partners.

In some cases, asking the question might just be the reality check one needs to turn around and run the other way. Or it could just as easily lead to confirmation. I know, how many people are even remotely inclined to think this way when they're "in love?" Ironically, that's just the time when we need to think about it. Anyway, it's a random thought and one that I sincerely hope results in a dialogue. Let me know what you think. Am I just caffeine-deprived or have I really hit on something?

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