The Women in My Life

When I think of the women I've dated, it occurs to me I've really been fortunate. Most of them were women with pageant titles, believe or not. Let's see, there was Miss Understand, Miss Interpretation, Miss Calculate and the most memorable, Miss Take and her twin sister, Miss Taken. Believe me, you never want to take those two out at the same time -- I learned that the hard way.

I hope you're chuckling, because that's my intention this morning. Truthfully though, I have known a former Miss Texas and once met a former Miss America, but I dated neither. My luck can be counted on to only take me so far. The other "pageant winners," however, I admit have been like Lay's Potato Chips: you can't have just one.

This is not to say I haven't learned anything from my experiences with them. For one thing, they've taught me about my own limitations. I don't always get things right (don't tell anyone, ok?). They've shown me that I need to be patient while they date around (sometimes that's a relief). And they've reminded me again and again that a little humility goes a long way -- especially when you're hanging out with the twins.

There are times when I've thought I've finally gotten to the place where I can make better choices about the company I keep. I can break up with all of them at last and do just fine, thank you very much. And then, darned if I don't find myself looking through my Little Black Book of Beggar's Foibles and call one of them up again. Dr. Phil would give up his gig on Oprah for a chance at me, I've no doubt.

But I'll keep trying, rest assured, and maybe someday these ladies will decide I'm just not all that much fun anymore. Uh-huh. Now, where did I put that Little Black Book? It must be around here somewhere...