Playing Home Improvement

Yesterday evening, I think I broke my toe -- the littlest one on my left foot. I was involved in a project, had been walking around barefoot because of the heat, and wham! the footstool and I met with a crash and explicative that sent the dog running for cover. It hurt like anything and at first I thought I'd merely jammed it. An hour later, I wasn't so confident, so I did what any good medical student would, namely, got out the first-aid tape.

I realize I could have gone to the emergency clinic but they'd suggest an x-ray, then tape the offended appendage to its neighbor and offer me an ibuprofen. Apart from the imaging, I could do that just as well and cheaper. Sure, an x-ray would reveal whether it was truly fractured, dislocated, or merely badly bruised, but the treatment would be the same in any case, so why bother? I manipulated it gingerly and it didn't seem out of joint, so it was either broken or bruised. If it turned black in a day or so, my test results would be in.

Today it's sore to the touch and I've instructed it to limit unnecessary movement. Through the tape I thought I heard a muffled, uh-huh, so it seems we're on the same page. My dog recovered more quickly, coming back into the room with tail wagging to provide support. He didn't offer to inspect my toe, however, and for that I was grateful. His late brother was definitely a doctoring kind of dog and he'd have never let me rest until he'd thoroughly examined, sniffed, and licked my foot from stem to stern. If I pulled away, he'd simply have waited until I settled down, and begun again, eying me as if to say, "Do you want me to fix this or not?!"

So, now the dog and I will attempt a truncated version of our daily walk, him wondering why we're going so slowly and me hoping he'll do his business quickly. If it goes like the last time -- oh, yes, I've done this before under similar circumstances -- in a few days we'll be back to our normal pace. In the meantime, I've got to learn to wear shoes while playing "Home Improvement." Tim Allen I'm not and this business of hobbling around is for the birds.


(GNU Free Documentation image via Wikipedia)