Tuesday, August 3, 2010

That "Special Moment"

Have you ever seen the television commercial advertising a treatment for erectile dysfunction depicting a man and woman, each sitting in a bathtub with their backs to the camera? They're holding hands and looking, first affectionately at one another, then at the sunset. The unspoken message is, the husband's decision to go on medication has led to a second honeymoon.

There are a few things that puzzle me about this commercial. For instance, assuming the tubs have water in them, how did it get there? I don't see a faucet nearby -- they probably used buckets and carried water to the tubs, yeah, that's it. But wait, you don't suppose the couple had to do that themselves? That'd be chintzy. They should have called Expedia and booked a better hotel.

Even if the hotel staff did the dirty work, how did they keep the water warm? Okay, so they started out with hot water, but one or two buckets at a time, filling is going to be a slow process and the water in the tub will surely cool off. Seems to me that might put a bit of a damper on the, um, mood, if you know what I mean.

My next question is, did the couple just walk out there, like stark naked (perish the thought)? There aren't any robes laying around on the grass and here's this other guy making a video of the whole thing. Somebody please blush!

Finally, there's the matter of two tubs. Now, I realize this is television and the kids are watching, but what in the heck is romantic about sitting in a bathtub all by your lonesome, your partner is sitting all by their lonesome in hers/his, and the very most you can do is hold hands and gaze goofy-eyed at each other? Do you suppose this is what they mean by "safe bathing?" It reminds me of classic films where married couples are depicted using twin beds -- safe sleeping.

I'm probably taking this too far and I should just shut up and suspend my disbelief for a few seconds. But I have to wonder. See, the thing about carrying water outside still gets me. I packed water in buckets to the horses in the dead of winter when I was a kid and I'll tell you, the best part about it was being done. There was nothing about the experience that makes me think it's a reasonable substitute for candlelight and music, especially for that "special moment." Not even if you throw in a sunset for good measure.

(Creative Commons image by mrt575 via Flickr)
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