A Future in Eggnog

I mentioned pumpkin eggnog yesterday and I have Harvey Perley Hood to thank for it. I don't know if he came up with the idea in 1846, but it's a good one. So's ginger snap and if you can obtain Hood products in your part of the country, you've got a treat coming. No, they don't subsidize my medical education, so call this word-of-mouth advertising. On the other hand, if there are any family members reading this and the company wants to contribute, I'm open to sponsors -- I'll even let my dog wear the T-shirt when we walk. That's got to be worth something, don't you think?

There'll have to be some limits, of course, otherwise every Tom, Dick, and Dairy in the country will try to sign him up. I'd have to quit school to manage his accounts and that would defeat the whole purpose. Despite his natural charm, he's never aspired to a career in marketing and I want to be a doctor. But I have absolutely no objections to an orange reflective vest emblazoned with the company logo.

Why an orange reflective one? Because hunting season's started and even those of us who believe in preserving the right to arm bears (you read that right) need to be protected when walking down the road. It's not stylish but it could be -- especially if it had (hint, hint) a Hood logo brightly displayed on the sides. Hey, this could start a fad with humans wanting them, too -- pawtographed by my dog.

Rap musicians -- Snoop Dog, naturally, has the honor of being first -- would wear them on stage and eventually I'll wager we'll see them at the White House. The First Kids Secret Service detail will see them as a way to better blend in at school since they'll have become a status symbol and everyone will be wearing one. Though, by now, we'll have expanded the color scheme and employed Ralph Lauren to produce designer versions for Chaps and Polo. Eat your heart out, Giorgio Armani, this is an American tradition we're starting here.

The best thing about it all? Hood grows beyond it's wildest dreams, my dog gets to meet the First Pup, and I graduate from medical school debt free. Why didn't I think of this sooner?