Help Desk Psycho-Babble

The Help Desk -- that cadre of computer gurus who, thankfully, keep me connected, interactive, and functional in those dark, Druid-like ways that completely mystify the uninitiated (like yours truly) -- has informed me there is a temporary system-related disruption. In the meantime, they say, I may experience "issues."

Mm. What kind of issues, I wonder? Do these wizards of the electronic ether know something I don't? Am I at risk of becoming codependent and turning into my laptop's caretaker, engaging in unnecessary disk defragmenting or compulsively running the virus software over and over in case there's (whispering) an infection?

Worse yet, is there a chance I could become paranoid and start looking for a conspiracy somewhere? Maybe it's not the system at all, maybe it's the chipmunks trying to get back at me for blocking their secret pathways into the foundation of my house. Yeah, that's it, Chip 'n Dale have hacked my network.

You know, this is starting to get just a little weird. If the people who are generally the most adept at dealing with the digitized reality of a computer screen are beginning to talk psycho-babble, what's next? Oh, no, they're going to want to know how I feel about it. And then one of them is going to offer me a Teddy Bear and ask if I need a hug. I'm not ready for this -- it's too much -- does anyone out there have a Xanax?


(Title screen from the Chip 'n Dale cartoon short Chicken in the Rough. Copyright The Walt Disney Company, 1952. Image via Wikipedia)