A Little Bit Of Fun

I love the questions posed by marketers on Facebook. "Has someone been looking for you?" Well, gee, if they were and I knew about it, I guess it'd be because they found me, right? Duh. And notice how these ads almost always depict a smiling, sensuous, often bikini-clad woman, as if she'd be looking for me. I want to write and say, listen, even when I was younger, women like that weren't interested in me, so what insanity makes you think they're hot for my body now? I mean, not that I could blame them (I have a rich fantasy life), but really, get a clue.

Then there's the one, "How heavy is your brain?" Like I keep that information in my iphone, you know? Just in case I get asked sometime. Wait -- this could come in handy as a pick-up line: "Hi, my name's Beggar, let's go somewhere quiet and, um, weigh our brains, shall we (wink, wink)?" Like that one's going to do anything but get me acquainted with the bouncer. Him I don't want to meet.

Oh, and I can cartoon myself. If I do that will I be like Brad Pitt in Cool World, stuck in toonland? With my luck, I'll look like Homer Simpson -- pot belly and all. Right, that's definitely how I want my friends to see me.

The options aren't quite endless, though the ads themselves seem that way. I'm not complaining though, because they've given me something fun to write about. By the way, I wanted to see what would happen if I clicked on the "Guess who's looking for you" icon. Turns out, they want some personal information including my gender. That's where I stopped. I mean, seriously, don't you think anyone who was really looking for me would already know I was a guy? I sure hope so, because if not, they've got bigger fish to fry.


(Image by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) via Flickr)