Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Not-So Hardest Thing

I think I may have figured it out. I'm not sure and I could be wrong. It's happened before -- being wrong, I mean. I think the hardest thing about being an older student is convincing other people that it's not all that hard. As a matter of fact, in a lot of ways it's easier than when I was younger. For one thing, I'm more focused and certainly more disciplined. Part of this grows out of being an intentional student rather than simply a student. By that I mean, when I was an undergraduate I could afford to be lost in the maze of options. Now that I'm just a tad bit older, I have a clearly established goal and I know what I have to do to get there.

That still doesn't solve the problem of convincing others. Now, I suppose in the long run, it really shouldn't matter, but for the sake of sustaining relationships it does. So, when I'm asked by a well-meaning someone how can I do this at my age and, gee, it must be difficult and more power to you, it's hard to tell them that it's really not that bad. The very last thing I'd ever want to do is sound unappreciative because I believe they are truly attempting to be empathetic. So, I smile and thank them, and try to resist telling them how much fun I'm having and that I wouldn't trade this experience for the majority holdings in Microsoft.

Wait a minute, did I say Microsoft? Mm...well, that would be nice, but not if it meant giving up medical school. Some things you just can't put a price on. Things like walking through the snow with my dog looking up at me with a wide grin as if to say, "Isn't this great?!" And he's right, it is. Things like sitting round the table with friends over hot chocolate and pumpkin coffee cake, talking about long hours at the hospital. And things like visiting an elderly woman and listening to the wheezes at the base of her lungs and knowing what's causing them.

Yep, sorry Bill Gates, I'll take a donation but if it means giving up these things, it's no deal. Somewhere, like a modern William Barret Travis (Texas readers know this name well), you have to draw a line in the sand and say this is where I make my stand. Maybe in the end, you don't have to convince anyone. Maybe a smile and a little gratitude are enough. You never know just how things will turn out. Some day, they may be my patients. Whoa. Now that's a thought.

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